Mad About Celebrity

Last night ex-Footballers’ Wives star Laila Rouass and her partner Anton du Beke went out of Strictly Come Dancing after facing the dance off with Ricky Whittle and his partner Natalie Lowe. It was no contest really. Had they faced Chris and Ola they might have stood a tiny chance, but not against Ricky. I thought the judges were unfair to criticize her dancing, particularly Darcey Bussell, who as the newcomer surprised me with her remarks.

With all racist accusations against Anton put firmly behind them, I thought they looked better and better together each time and have given us weeks of entertainment. I am truly sorry to see them go. And I’m not remotely biased because Laila’s cousin is a friend of my son.

Then tonight we had the X Factor quarter final. At last we are left with four people who can actually sing and no longer have to endure the ‘entertainment’ factor of the likes of Jedward – a polite way of saying they just can’t sing. In fact I can sing better with two glasses of wine and a karaoke tape.

When the results were announced and it was clear we were losing Danyl, I have to confess I shed a tear. Only a small one I hasten to add, but a tear nevertheless. He was so gracious in defeat, no shouting or crying or the usual X Factor histrionics. Maybe he knows they’ll be queueing up to give him a recording contract anyway. Lots of runners up have done better than the eventual winners – Leon where are you now? And Steve er what was his name? Michelle McManus – or was that Pop Idol. Hey, what’s the difference. My money’s on Ollie.

Finally. Is this a wind up? Apparently the bella Gino and Stuart ‘Hollyoaks’ Manning have been arrested on animal cruelty charges after killing and eating a rat on the I’m a Celebrity show.

Ch Insp David Oshannessy, from the RSPCA in New South Wales, told BBC Radio 5 live there was a “code of practice” which dictated how animals could be used in theatrical productions and films. The rat murder happened on a day no animals were featuring in the show, so there wasn’t an officer there. He went onto say, “The killing of a rat for a performance is not acceptable. The concern is this was done purely for the cameras.” I suppose eating live insects, squashing them to death in small enclosed spaces and eating kangaroos testicles (well someone killed it first) don’t count.

Danyl and Simon on X Factor

Celebrity chef Gino D’Acampo was tonight crowned the new King of the Jungle. There were lots of kisses and champagne as the bella Gino found out he had won and took his place on the I’m a Celebrity throne. Runner-up How Clean is Your House and larger than life star Kim was delighted to see the TV chef win the show.

“I’m looking forward to getting back to civilisation soon,” a surprised Gino told Ant and Dec. “I came to the jungle to get away from laptops, mobile phones and being a chef – but I ended up cooking over 600 meals!”

As well as putting a giant spider in his mouth in the first episode and doing most of the cooking throughout, Gino had had to eat a crocodile’s tongue, a rhino beetle and a fermented duck egg in the Bushtucker Bonanza Trial.

The lovely Gino was always entertaining with his stories and jokes and was popular with the other campers as well as with the viewers. Sipping champagne with Ant and Dec, he joked about how horny he has always been and how he missed his nookie. But he then went on to admit how much he had missed his wife and children. Within seconds his two boys ran out to meet their Daddy and you could see how emotional he had become. It was a touching moment – no really (I’m not being sarcastic for once).

Gino is crowned king of the jungle

It’s been an interesting weekend on reality TV. Firstly Natalie Cassidy went out of Strictly last night. There were tears and more tears and that was just Vincent. They had ended up in the bottom two with Ricky Whittle and his partner, also called Natalie. The two couples had been dancing the Rock and Roll but the dance, making its first appearance on Strictly, didn’t appear to please the judges or the public. The Charleston, also making its first appearance, faired much better. And the dresses were fabulous! Laila’s dress was gorgeous darling, one to add to my list when they get sold off in some charity sale next year.

Over on the other side, X Factor competition was hotting up. Now down to the final five, with one more due to go tonight, they all sang their little hearts out, hoping for a place in the semi final.

This evening opened with a brilliant rendition of the Scissor Sisters I don’t feel like dancing . When the votes came in and it was down to Lloyd and Ollie, I was holding my breath! When they announced that Ollie was going forward to the semis, I felt really bad for Lloyd, but hey ho, the boy looks good, but I have a friend whose dog Sid sings better when he plays the violin. The friend that is, not the dog…

As for I’ll Be a Celebrity When I Get Out of Here, even my son thinks it’s boring now Katie Price has gone and he can’t stand her! Apparently viewing figures have dropped by 20% since she left the show. Was it her sense of humour? Was it the unbearable pathos of her desperate pleas to Peter to take her back? Was it all that closure rubbish? I’ll bet there’s another couple of reasons more likely.

Lloyd on X Factor

Katie Price left the jungle after being voted by the GBP (Great British Public) seven times in a row to do the bushtucker trial. Stupid thing was that the last trial which she refused to do only involved her manoevering Joe Bugner around over a snake pit using some kind of pulley system. Ok, it was hard work, but there were no bugs involved for a change.

She said when she came out that she had gone in to find closure and that she had succeeded and could now move on. It had been emotionally hard for her, revisiting all the places where she met and spent time with Peter Andre, now her ex-husband. She said at least twice that she was only ‘a human being’ and could only take so much.

I have to admit that I couldn’t really bring myself to dislike her. The girl has balls, so to speak, and I admire her for that if little else.

First person voted out was diminutive ex-Eastender Lucy Benjamin, but then the GPBP only had three to choose from and they were never going to get rid of Gino or Sam Fox (who is looking a bit rough without the war paint). Question is whether it will be a bit boring now Katie has gone. I suppose there’s how-clean-is-your-house-Kim who talks to her pants (will they start talking back we wonder), Joe Bugner who was horrible but now isn’t, the aforementioned Gino and Sam and, erm, I can’t remember the rest. Oh yes, George Hamilton who can’t do any trials on medical grounds. Can we stand the excitement?

Just when you thought there weren’t enough reality shows on TV (funny yeah), like the buses, three came along at once. First of all we had Strictly Come Dancing which has become more like an episode of Casualty this year and which as you probably guessed by now I love. Then we had the farce which passes for X Factor, judged by Mr Nasty, two fashion victims and a leprechaun and defies belief with some of its remaining acts. And then finally we had I’ll be a celebrity when I get out of here. Trouble with the latter is that the formula is just not funny any more. Too many bugs and nothing new. I actually admire some of the celebs like Kim and George, but when you’ve seen one kangaroo testicle you’ve see them all.

In fact I think my problem with all these shows is the GBP (Great British Public) being given the vote (after all these are the same ‘public’ who voted three times for a Labour Government and look where that’s got us). Strictly at least has the good ones left though Zoe and James should be there. X Factor still has Jedward – need I say more? Even poor little Lloyd may be sweet but he just can’t sing and who voted out Lucie and Jamie? As if the public aren’t bad enough, even the judges have gone completely barking.

As for I’m a Celeb, the pubic voting for Katie every time to do the bushtucker trial is starting to look like bullying again.

I despair. So why am I still watching? Maybe it’s beacuse there’s just nothing else on TV right now apart from Spooks. But I have to say, the real talent was on Thursday night at the BBC Children in Need concert at the Royal Albert Hall. Take That, Robbie Williams, Paolo Nutini, Mika, Leona Lewis, Paul McCartney, Shirley Bassey, the list is endless. It was strictly fantastic!