Who’s voting now?

Dancing on Ice – well that was exciting! I’m not surprised Bobby Davro was in the skate off, but I’m amazed the other one was Gary Lucy. Once again the GBP (Great British Public) have voted with their hearts and not their heads. Must be lots of ladies of a certain age (me included) voting for Jeremy Sheffield and Dr Hilary Jones.

But in spite of all this excitement, I’m not that excited yet. And once Jeremy and Dr H have gone, which won’t be long methinks, there’ll be no-one left for me to get excited about. Maybe they’ll grow on me but right now they just look like another bunch of Hollyoaks and other soap kids, just like we see in all the reality shows.

jeremy sheffield

As entertaining as two girls kissing on a subway

So who watched Pop Star to Opera Star tonight? I certainly did and I really enoyed it. Even my hubby who hates reality shows with a vengeance enjoyed it.

Shame Alex James of Blur went out, though it was a bit of a foregone conclusion. He was – dare I say it – rubbish, but he was still, as always, superbly entertaining. And I am not biased beacuse he lives down the road from me (well almost) and makes cheese. Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen described his performance as being ‘in the style of Dennis the Menace’ and Meat Loaf said it was ‘like watching two girls kissing on a subway, so entertaining’, whatever that means.

Marcella Detroit, late of Shakespeare’s Sister was staggeringly good when she hit the high notes and Jimmy Osmond gave it a fair shot as well. Bernie Nolan was the Daniel O’Donnell of the programme – perfectly pitched, steadfast and just a tad boring.

But my initial favourite was of course the artist formerly known as Darius Danesh, who sang Nessun Dorma totally out of his comfort zone. As a bass/baritone it was obviously hard for him to hit the high notes, I think they even lowered the song for him, but he showed real potential.

Highlight for me though was Meat Loaf, leaping up and clapping, making comments that made no sense and being totally bonkers. While Mexican tenor Rolando Villazon – when he demonstrated how to sing – I was totally bowled over. Apologies to the person who pulled me up for describing him as a bod I’d never heard of. We’ll all have heard of him from now on. Amazing.

The seven others – Vanessa White of the Saturdays, Bernie Nolan, McFly’s Danny Jones, Jimmy Osmond, Kym Marsh, Marcella Detroit and Darius will sing again in next week’s show. Can’t wait. In the parting words of Alex James, ‘What a blast’.

alex james

Pop star to opera star

I can’t wait till tomorrow night. Yet another new reality show but this time it’s high brow. Pop Star to Opera Star starts at 9.00pm Friday 15th January and gives pop singers the opportunity to have a go at singing opera under the direction of Katherine Jenkins and some bod I’ve never heard of called Rolando Villazon. But the best bit is that ‘rock God’ Meat Loaf is one of the critics along with Laurence LLewellyn-Bowen. “I’ll be looking for someone just like me,” the singer has been quoted as saying. It’s worth watching for that alone! Then we have Myleene Klass – OK – and Alan Titchmarsh hosting the show. Why Alan Titchmarch? Will they be singing in the garden? Or digging up the weeds mid aria?

Alex James of Blur and Maestro fame, Bernie Nolan – one of the Nolans of course, the pop star formerly known as Darius Danesh now Darius Campbell, Kym Marsh, a member of McFly, another from the Saturdays, Jimmy Osmond (my brothers made me do it – well tell them to do it instead of you then) and one of Shakespeare’s Sisters (no not that Shakespeare) are all competing. Will they be rubbish? I hope so – that will be far more entertaining! Pity they didn’t get Rhydian to do it – he would be bound to win.

jimmy osmond

So you think you can dance?

So You Think You Can Dance started tonight on BBC1, with Arlene Philips as one of the judges along with ‘Nasty’ Nick of original Pop Idol fame, Louise Redknapp and various other random choreographers etc. Cat Deeley is the presenter. There were loads of brilliant dancers but I have two criticisms already (and the series has only just started).

Firstly there was a guy from Brazil called Hugo Cortes who was absolutely amazing but when it came to the last 14, he was told sorry you don’t have the right visa, goodbye. So why did they let him get that far in the first place?

Secondly, there were no really bad dancers like the really bad singers who audition for X Factor. Isn’t being a really crap dancer as funny as being a really crap singer? Then we could laugh at them for years being rude to the judges or doing YMCA out of tune. Even when the well-endowed burlesque dancer (wasn’t she the one who showed us her assets on Britain’s Got Talent?) fell off the stage it wasn’t funny.

Oh and just one other thing. I flatly refuse to even mention Celebrity Big Brother. I’m not that desperate. Enough said.

So you think you can dance

Nearly forgot Dancing on Ice

Just when I thought it was safe to watch TV again, along comes Dancing on Ice (I can’t believe I forgot) and the line-up has been revealed. Not sure which is weirder, Heather Mills, ex-wife of ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney or GMTV’s Dr Hilary Jones.

We have the usual smattering on unknown Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, Coronation Street and other soap minor ‘celebrities’ plus Olympic swimmer Sharron Davies – she should be good – and she-who-nearly-lost-her-nose Eastenders actress Daniella Westbrook. Holby’s Jeremy Sheffield is set to be this year’s heart throb, while Sinitta is taking to the ice to show she is more than just Simon Cowell’s ex-girlfriend.

Finally we have Bobby Davro who looks a bit long in the tooth compared to all the soap youngsters (sorry Bobby) and Gordon Ramsay’s wife Tana showing that he is not the only star in the family.

It’s an interesting line up of B list celebrities – at this stage no idea who will be the shining stars and who will be out on their bums – literallly.

Dr Hilary Jones

Strictly a popularity contest

Well of course it is. Last year Tom Chambers won and there were moans from the judges and the purists that others were better and he shouldn’t have won, but the GBP had voted and that was it!

This year it was the same. Only the judges didn’t seem to mind so much. They obviously finally realise that it is an ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAMME and Chris and Ola were the most entertaining. I think there are a few other reasons as well. Chris was tippped to go out in the first few weeks so he had the ‘journey’ which Ricky Whittle didn’t. He was brilliant to start with. Ricky was on an alleged assault charge a couple of weeks ago which probably didn’t improve his popularity with many people. And I don’t think Natalie’s swimsuit outfit did them any favours either. I know Ola wears skimpy costumes but in a different way. I can’t really explain. Maybe she is just sexier.

Anyway that’s it now. Apart from the Christmas special we have no more reality TV to look forward to until Britain’s Got Talent next year.

Chris and Ola

Did the right person win X Factor?

I think so. From a purely singing point of view Joe McElderry is by far the best. From an entertainment point of view then Olly Murs should have won, but I doubt he’ll have to wait long for a recording contract.

It was a nail biting final with some great guests including last year’s winner Alexandra Burke and runners up JLS. Then we saw Leona Lewis who is head and shoulders above EVERYONE, though as a singer rather than an entertainer. Not wearing a mini skirt and prancing about on stage didn’t stop her meteoric rise to fame. She had the talent after all.

We also had George Michael (looks a bit weird these days doesn’t he) and Sir Paul McCartney playing a psychedelic piano and performing Live and Let Die.

It was a great evening’s entertainment. Just Strictly Come Dancing to go now. The final is next week with Ricky and Natalie and Chris and Ola, the fantastic Ali and Brian (who scored five 10s for their American Smooth) having been eliminated last night thanks to the GBP (Great British Public) yet again. Once more it will be ability v popularity. Which will prevail this time? We shall see next week.

Kiss that fiver goodbye

This morning I was watching GMTV before going to work when my son came in the room and declared that Joe would win X Factor on Saturday. No, I said, it would be Olly. He said no chance as Olly had been in the bottom two and Joe hadn’t. Fair enough. So I said that I would bet him the fiver he owes me that Olly would win. We shall see. Neither of us bet on Stacey I’m afraid. Just had a quick look at the bookies and I think that according to them Joe is the favourite and I’m going to be £5 worse off but I’m still confident -ish. It turns out that no-one who has been in the bottom two has EVER gone on to win.

As for Strictly Come Dancing, I confess I haven’t a clue. Any of them could do it, even Chris and Ola who have the popularity vote. Should be an exciting final the following week.

Joe McElderry to win X Factor?

Tiger Woods hits another birdie

Tiger Woods is now seven over par by all accounts. PORN star Holly Sampson last night became the seventh woman alleged to be a mistress of the golf star. Two more were revealed yesterday. Buxom Jamie Jungers, 26, was said to have been the girlfriend of an unsuspecting golf fan who wanted her to get Tiger’s autograph for him. She got more than that by all accounts.

Where will it all end? In the courts I guess. With a massive payout.

In the meantime Tiger’s string of alleged lovers aren’t wasting any time getting rich. At least two have signed big-money deals with newspapers.

New reports said the total was at least eight.

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What a week it’s been in reality tv

Last night ex-Footballers’ Wives star Laila Rouass and her partner Anton du Beke went out of Strictly Come Dancing after facing the dance off with Ricky Whittle and his partner Natalie Lowe. It was no contest really. Had they faced Chris and Ola they might have stood a tiny chance, but not against Ricky. I thought the judges were unfair to criticize her dancing, particularly Darcey Bussell, who as the newcomer surprised me with her remarks.

With all racist accusations against Anton put firmly behind them, I thought they looked better and better together each time and have given us weeks of entertainment. I am truly sorry to see them go. And I’m not remotely biased because Laila’s cousin is a friend of my son.

Then tonight we had the X Factor quarter final. At last we are left with four people who can actually sing and no longer have to endure the ‘entertainment’ factor of the likes of Jedward – a polite way of saying they just can’t sing. In fact I can sing better with two glasses of wine and a karaoke tape.

When the results were announced and it was clear we were losing Danyl, I have to confess I shed a tear. Only a small one I hasten to add, but a tear nevertheless. He was so gracious in defeat, no shouting or crying or the usual X Factor histrionics. Maybe he knows they’ll be queueing up to give him a recording contract anyway. Lots of runners up have done better than the eventual winners – Leon where are you now? And Steve er what was his name? Michelle McManus – or was that Pop Idol. Hey, what’s the difference. My money’s on Ollie.

Finally. Is this a wind up? Apparently the bella Gino and Stuart ‘Hollyoaks’ Manning have been arrested on animal cruelty charges after killing and eating a rat on the I’m a Celebrity show.

Ch Insp David Oshannessy, from the RSPCA in New South Wales, told BBC Radio 5 live there was a “code of practice” which dictated how animals could be used in theatrical productions and films. The rat murder happened on a day no animals were featuring in the show, so there wasn’t an officer there. He went onto say, “The killing of a rat for a performance is not acceptable. The concern is this was done purely for the cameras.” I suppose eating live insects, squashing them to death in small enclosed spaces and eating kangaroos testicles (well someone killed it first) don’t count.

Danyl and Simon on X Factor